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Matthew 18:15-21

¹⁵ “If your brother or sister sins against you,^[h] go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If you are listened to, you have regained that one. ¹⁶ But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If that person refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. ¹⁹ Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

Forgiveness

²¹ Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven^[i] times.

In today’s passage, we hear Jesus teaching his Disciples about the importance of being together. The line that drew me to this passage for our sermon this morning is 20, which reads “wherever two or three of you are gathered, there I am.” It speaks to the purpose of church: we are, together, the body of Christ in the world. St. Theresa of Avila once wrote that Christ has no hands but ours, no feet but ours… through our life together we seek to be the presence of Christ in the world.

Of course, this lovely declaration about being together is couched with these other two pieces of guidance from Jesus: the first about what to do if someone has sinned against you. And the second about how much forgiveness we’ll need to be willing to offer.

It turns out that once you have more than a couple of people together, you’re going to have to think about mediating conflict. Groups of more than a couple humans can’t avoid disagreement. And so, you’re going to have to figure out how to deal with it. Jesus wants it dealt with, first, on and individual basis, then among a group of influential individuals, before finally coming to the community.

And, what if someone has wronged you? How many times should you offer forgiveness? Peter thinks he is being generous with his offer of 7 times…but Jesus up’s the ante- not 7, but 7 X 70. That’s basically like saying there is no limit on the number of times you’ll need to offer forgiveness.

Really, what we have here are the first steps towards the original church by-laws. How do you deal with conflict? How is the church organized? Who is in charge? Because once you get more than a few people together, you’re going to have to figure out how to organize yourselves into a community. There are going to need rules. How do you solve a dispute? Who has authority to make decisions? It all sounds like boring stuff. The stuff of parliamentarians and judicial scholars.

But if you’re going to have a community of more than a few people…well, you’ll need some rules and guidelines.

So…how are we organized? What are our rules and guiding principles?

I had this odd conversation a few months back with someone I had just met. We were at a dinner in Indiana with a group that Amanda was much more active with than I was. It was a chance to say goodbye to people, but that night, I also got to meet a few people for the first time. One was a young woman, about our age, who had no background in the church. Of course, learning that I was a pastor, she had some questions. But they, surprisingly, weren’t theological. They were much more practical…

I'm pretty sure she asked "How do you, as a minister, get paid?"

Honestly, I’ve been asked this question before. There are people who wonder how it is that churches operate, especially when what they see on TV is huge megachurches charismatic preachers extolling people to tithe for God’s kingdom. No One, aside from those in power, ever really sees where that money goes…it’s just assurances that it is being used for God’s purposes, which might mean a private jet and fancy mansion.

Or, some folks imagine the Catholic Church, with land, and wealth, and even a country of their own, able to pump money into whatever area of the world needs it.

So, this person wanted to know, who pays you?

And the answer is that the congregation does. We take up an offering, but then we also pass a budget, and I sign a letter of call, which is basically a contract between myself and the leadership of the congregation. And of course, all of this is voted on. It’s discussed. The community which collects the offerings is also the body that approves how that money is spent. We have a board that oversees all of these processes, and that board is made up of members voted on by the congregation.

Now, you’re probably thinking I was boring this poor woman to death. Don’t ever get me started talking about behind the scenes church work…I am a huge nerd when it comes to that stuff.

But actually, her response surprised me. “That sounds like grassroots democracy,” she said.

I mean, yeah, it is. Our denomination emerged out of the early 19th century American frontier. We were a people who questioned the authority of the elites on the coast, and instead sought to create a church that did away with the hierarchies that had defined other Christian movements. We are congregationally led, meaning that no one outside of the membership of the church tells us what to do. They might give us guidance, or help, or recommend best practices… but the final buck stops here. That’s how the church works.

The truth is, American democracy for its first 150 years was built on the foundation of organizations like this, not just in the church, but beyond. Voluntary associations, is the name they go by. Organizations made up of members, guided by democratic principles that seeks to give everyone in the organization a voice in decision making.

Think about the elks, or Kiwanis, or even labor unions, when they’re run well. They all seek to create community through participation of the membership. But they do more than simply help us run effectively. They also help us create relationships across difference. If left up to our own devices, would we ever hang out with people who were different than us? Who had different beliefs or life experiences? But then, you walk into a church, or a union hall, or wherever else, and you’re suddenly face to face with communities of people who are different than you. And, you learn to disagree in particular ways that are hopefully constructive.

Alright, are you bored yet? I warned you: don’t let me get started talking about this stuff.

What organizations like ours produce is what’s sociologists call social capital. It’s like a resource we can use to help us get through life. Sometimes it’s just knowing the right person who has the answer to the problem you’re facing. Sometimes it’s more than that. I saw this post on Reddit, in the subreddit r/povertyfinance that had the tile “church is seriously the ultimate money saving hack.” The author wrote “it’s honestly crazy how much cheap labor, food, help, etc. that you can get from the church.” Amen. It should be that way.

When you’re together with people in community, it’s hard to look the other way when there’s need. And, if you’re being honest to Jesus’ teachings, you shouldn’t look the other way.

All of these connections in society, connections that brought people together, made American democracy possible. It built trust. It built capacity. When the organizers of the civil rights movement were trying to figure out how to mobilize a lot of people, there’s a reason they went to churches. People in church were already connected to one another. They already knew how to make decisions and how to get people to show up.

Here’s the thing though. All of this is on the decline. In fact, it’s been on the decline for a long time now. In 2000, a sociologist named Robert Putnam wrote a book called “bowling alone.” In it he points out a trend in American society away from these voluntary associations, towards a more disconnected world. His main metaphor was, of course, the bowling league. Over the course of several decades, he noticed, people stopped bowling in leagues, and instead started showing up to bowl alone. This trend can be seen in all areas of society. People are not joining organizations anymore. The connectionss and relationships that had made American democracy possible…well, it's fading.

Last year there was an interview with Putnam on the NYT podcast on the 25th anniversary of his book. He shared that he believes, without a doubt, that this situation has gotten worse since the book came out. People are leaving organizations, or just not joining them in the first place, at a much faster pace.

What is left behind is a society that is much more fracture and divided. The sociologist Ryan Burge, who tracks trends in the church, wrote about this last year on his substack. He said:

“There’s a growing number of people whom I have begun to call "the dropouts."** They are looking at all the institutions that once consumed a huge part of American social life and saying, "I don’t need any of this.

As both a social scientist and a pastor, the growing phenomenon of people who just walk away from many of the key social aspects of American life is incredibly worrying. Putnam wrote at length in Bowling Alone about the importance of social capital, which are those invisible bonds that hold society together. It’s the reason people care about the local high school even though their kids graduated decades ago. Or, they want to see money spent to clean up the city park even if it’s on the other side of town. It makes us feel like we are part of a larger community."

Folks are not just opting out of organizations like the church; they are opting out of all aspects of society. They care less about their local communities, or at least don't believe that their caring cannot have an effect on the world around them.

I think more and more of us are beginning to realize that this isn’t working. That going it alone isn’t going to get it done. At least, that’s what I hope.

Late last year Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez even gave a shoutout to the importance of joining in community organizations, even specifically mentioning the church…alongside knitting groups, of course, which we could start here at the church, if there’s any interest.

It’s not about the quick, short term answers to huge problems, but the long journey together in community. Our society has stopped being good at that, and if you look around, you can see the problems everywhere. Distrust, loneliness, hopelessness… it’s rough out there.

In the midst of this world and of these trends, those of us who have decided to align our lives with an organization like the church are going against the grain. We are choosing to opt-in to community, and through opting in and doing life together, we are choosing to be a part of a force for good for the world.

Theologically, what we are doing is seeking to be Christ's presence in our community. But practically, the way we choose to do that is through democratic, non-hierarchical principles that seek to empower membership in decision making.

Last year I was part of a reading group that spent some time with Gil Rendle's book Countercultural. In it he makes a lot of this case. We live in a world where people don't join the kind of institutions that used to hold society together. Today, it is countercultural to choose to be a part of one of these institutions. So welcome to the counterculture!

I've made that decision in my life in part because I've experience God in the church. I've seen folks who, by the measure of the rest of society, are utterly unremarkable. Who don't bring home huge salaries, and don't demand huge crowds. They just go about life, selflessly serving others through the church.

That's the beauty of all of this democracy. No one is going to do the work for us. Is there a problem in the world, in the community, that needs solving? We are the ones we've been waiting for.

Because I've committed my life to this kind of institution, I also know that part of that is financially committing. That means being willing to give a part of our income to supporting things we care about.

I don't believe the Bible demands we give 10% of our income. I will never tell you that you have to give 10% to be a good Christian. At the same time, Amanda and I have decided that 10% is a pretty good goal for us. And so we give- to the church, of course, but we also set aside a bit of money to give to organizations that we feel passionate about. And, we do this thing that Amanda wanted to make sure we had in our personal budget, where we set aside a little bit of money that we can, if need be, give to friends in need. Because both of us come from families where money was sometimes tight, and had someone help us out. So we've decided to be those kinds of people.

Theologically, we give because, like Mark Bowden said last week, the money isn't ours. It's God's money, and we'd like it to go to God's purposes. But practically, we give because we believe in this institution, with all of it's democratic principles, and in the people who make it possible.

I hope that as we head into 2026, you will consider what your giving will look like this next year. And know: we will tell you exactly where the money is going.

Amen.